I’M NOT HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS
A good strategy for getting out of social obligations is to call the person with whom you have plans and dismantle the prospective engagement, making it sound as though it consists of many separate grievances. Exaggerate blocks to be walked, list each subway transfer, plant the possibility of a wait time, remind them the place doesn’t take reservations, say the G isn’t running even when it is. Be methodical. Catalogue it all. They’ll get overwhelmed, pity you, and you’re off the hook lickity split. Even if you’re ambivalent yourself, being rhetorically tedious will convince you to just stay home and read. Promise. Anything else will feel impossible!
